To the moon and back

It takes my breath away just a little, but it makes me feel closer to you — one little tangible connection to you that I still have.

Even if your death still feels like a constant weight I carry on my shoulders, most days I’m able to manage pretty well. I try not to think about you too much when I’m out in public, or in the middle of a work day, in fear that once the tears start to fall, they won’t stop.

And then you took me in your arms and gave me the biggest hug, and I cried and told you that I was both happy and sad at the same time. And if that’s not the most accurate description of my life, I don’t know what is.

I really miss you, mom. Despite the huge hole in my soul that your death has created, I’m immensely grateful for more time here, more life. So many beautiful things have come my way starting at a time when I felt like it would be easier if the world just swallowed me up whole. I fought my way out of the darkness and am finally able to feel the warm light of joy slowly growing around me once again.

--

--

Sharing stories of humanity, family and my journey working with marginalized groups. Hoping to help conquer xenophobia with radical compassion.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Amber Christino Jordan

Amber Christino Jordan

Sharing stories of humanity, family and my journey working with marginalized groups. Hoping to help conquer xenophobia with radical compassion.